A girl once told me we're all waiting for something. And at the time, I thought that was great. It felt like she had just handed over the secret to happiness or something equally significant. Why, though? It meant that I wasn't alone. That I wasn't the only one holding out or crossing my fingers or making the same birthday wish every time I blew out the candles.
Just recently, I thought back to that idea of waiting, hoping and wishing. Jack Johnson thinks its okay, so it must be, right?
Depends what you're sitting, waiting, wishing for.
Sure, it's okay to sit and wait and wish on a person. Anyone is entitled to that. I'm guilty of it, and I know a lot of other people who also are. What it's not okay to do is think that suddenly, someone is going to figure you out when you're not being who you say you are. You not only have to be true to yourself while you wait, but to the people around you. Whatever it is you're waiting for. A train, the end of a Friday afternoon, a call from someone you love.
"So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them." – The Perks of Being A Wallflower
If college has taught me anything at all, it's that I'm not a hundred percent true to myself most of the time. There are two sides to me, depending on who I'm with and where I am. And that's not fair to me, to anybody, because if (read: when) I decide I want to be who I think I am, and people who think they know me find out they don't, they're just going to tell me that's not Me. That I'm not like that. Whatever "that" is.
There's this big aspect of vulnerability that we skirt around because if we can be something else entirely, a person that others like for the wrong reasons, we don't have to worry about rejection. We all know what people are looking for, because we're looking for the same thing, so we take comfort in trying to be that Other Person when in reality, we're only going to hurt later down the road.
What I'm trying, really trying, to say, is that we shouldn't wait around for people to like us. If we're honest from Day One, we wouldn't have this problem.
Tell someone if they're important to you. If they're not being true to their heart. If they're making decisions just to please someone else. You only get one life in this world. Let it be your own.